Do it!

You have read the title of the post. What are you thinking about now ? Probably: “Oh my God, is this freak going to talk about sex now ?” Well, think about it. Would it be that weird and sick ? Back home, there was a program on one of the most popular radios, from 23 o’clock, with one “doctor” or psychologist talking about sex and the problems people encounter when it comes to this. Pretty funny though, people were calling, going live to talk about it. The weirdest thing is that some people were actually only listening with the hope they will learn something new… So, considering that my audience is much more reduced than the audience that program on radio had, it could be perfectly normal to talk about this, but..no, no, no…the question to the initial question is NO. This freak is not going to talk about sex (at least not now, not in this post).

Instead, I will tell you a weird…story…that happened to me. A few weeks ago, I had to make a assignment about computer networks. One day before delivery, my homework was done, safely saved on my computer…and the only thing I had to do it to upload it on the school’s server.  It never crossed my mind that I could have done some mistake, so I didn’t intend to read it again for re-checking. And that day, I was staying after classes, happily listening to a song on youtube when one classmate asks me to send him my homework because he needs some inspiration. I said “fine” and I sent him the file on skype. Then, I continued my stupid activity of listening and trying to sing that song, when he suddenly started to laugh violently. I looked at him, asked what’s wrong…but he could not speak because of the laughing. Finally, he asked me “When have you been writing this homework ? ” and I replied “Ah, yesterday at school! Why ? What’s wrong?” Then, he showed me his display and highlighted one line of my report. In some place, I should have written “the largest port number …” but instead I wrote “the largest porn number …”. Therefore, part of my assignment was looking like this:

Of course I first thought this is a joke and he modified the file only on his computer. But it appeared that it wasn’t. I checked the original file on my computer…and that was it. I have written that with my own thin fingers. I was looking at the keyboard and observing that the P is kind of far from the N, so it couldn’t be a typing error. And I could not believe it. I can only imagine delivering the file just like that. The next day, the teacher would have came to school laughing and saying “Hey students, I have looked on your assignments and I noticed one I have to present to you today. This is an example of how it should not be done ! ha ! ” Of course, probably he would have removed my name, but still…it would have been extremely weird. Oh yes, I guess that’s the disadvantage of trying to multitask and to think of two things in the same time.

Changing the topic to 180 degrees, I have a piece of news (I guess it’s extremely good, for some of you). I won’t be writing on this blog from now on. I don’t say I will never write on it again, but…you should not expect something new for the next period of time, at least. The reason why I do this is because life can be sometimes seen as a series. Well, one season of my life has ended…or it’s about to end pretty soon so the actors need a break. I can forget the password of the account, the account could be deleted due to inactivity, or I won’t have anything to write anymore. Or, it could be the other way..next week I get a brilliant idea that I really need to write it down here..but that’s highly improbable. Anyway, I got feedback that the blog is too complicated and maybe too emotional (not only from one person).

Okay, maybe this post has some kind of slight connection to sex and stuff like this. Anyway, to end the “last” post in a funny way, I have to show you a small clip I have found on youtube(Oh, If i fail my exams, it’s youtube’s fault!) the last days. Enjoy the clip. I also added a song that I really like (and hope you will too). Please comment (even anonymously) if you have something to say about this post, or about all the posts until now.

Pen sexucation:

The power of Goodbye

I have been talking about the feeling of being home, about love, about all kind of soul “diseases”, but one thing kind of slipped. Lately I encountered some forgotten situations in my life: I had to say goodbye. I am sure that everybody had to say goodbye once in their lives. And of course I am not talking about telling “Goodbye, see you tomorrow !” to your classmate. I am talking about the “big” goodbyes. Goodbyes that can be said between two persons that are not going to see each other for a long time, or goodbyes for ever (more like “adios”).

You know, last week I had to come back to Denmark. I spend my last day home with my family and in the evening with some friends. As I was the only driver, I had to leave them home…and there was this feeling: damn, I won’t be seeing this person for such a long time. The weird thing is that while we were in the pub and drinking our coffees we didn’t talk at all about goodbyes, or the fact that some of us are leaving. We were feeling like the old times when we were skipping school in order just to stay, drink coffee, talk and relax. The same with the parents. When I was on the road to the airport, in the car was a big fun, it didn’t matter that it was 2 am, we were laughing and talking about some weird stuff like: why do the cars go on road and they don’t fly ? or…what would happen if I become a gigolo? Anyway, all kind of stupid things. I was feeling like we were going for a spring trip in the mountains. I didn’t think about future, I was only enjoying the moment. And then… I got to the airport. Amazingly, I was still unconscious about my leaving and the distance between my and my parents. We hugged, and then I proceeded to the security check. I looked back, and I have seen the face of my mother totally changed. She had a teardrop on her cheek this time. Amazingly, I was still perfectly fine, not being shivered by any feeling or emotion. After I passed the security check and I could not see my parents anymore, it all came down on me. That was the moment I realized I was really going, leaving beside me just a trace of memories. At that moment, I was swearing because I thought I could spend the last day in another way. But then, it occurred to me that I could do nothing different. If I was thinking only about leaving and things I leave behind, what would I have done in the car ? Crying like a baby? So… I think it’s better this way. The post is not about this, but I know that people are crying when they are sad or when they are extremely happy. Then, why is the crying feeling when it comes to goodbyes ? You have no reasons to be sad, that’s what you have chosen and this is your life. You can guess that being extremely happy is not the case at all. The only explanation that comes to my mind is that…well, there is some kind of sadness. The sadness that you won’t see that person for a lifetime. It seems a lifetime when it comes to the ones you love, believe me.

Coming back to the driving of the friends home, the last one was my best “girl buddy”. When I left her in the front of her house, I have seen again teardrops in her eyes. Well, I am not sure if she was feeling that bad because I’ll leave and she will miss me or because of the things I told her on the way to her house. Anyway, while I was gone (for about 7 months) me and my friends didn’t have enough time to talk and to catch up with absolutely everything. Everybody had their own business with their hectic schedules. And I was having bad dreams about the relationship growing cold…but it was not like that. One more proof that the true friendship never ends. All this comes to the thing that it’s wonderful to know that whatever happens, whatever mistakes you make or whoever betrays you, you can always rely on a bunch of people like your family and your friends.

I have been a little bit more of-topic with this thing. Let’s return to the main idea of the post: Goodbye! It is usually said that one characteristic of a strong personality is the ability to say goodbye and really mean it. We should have the power to move on over all kind of goodbyes or even adios. But here the feelings kick in and you realize it’s almost impossible. When you will be able to truly love some persons (it should not matter if they are you family, your lover, or your friends) but in the same time to be able to say goodbye or adios without any big suffering, then you can say that you have some kind of control over your feelings. Well, I don’t know if anybody achieved this performance. I am not even trying because I know I’m a mess when it comes to feelings. But if you did, let me know. Usually, when you think that you are in that point when you can say goodbye quite easy to a person you love, you might be lying yourself in 2 possible ways: 1.you just think that you love that person, but deep inside your heard you don’t, or…you really love that person but you act that you are okay so good that you actually start to believe in that acting as being the real you.

If we talked about goodbyes or adios between people, let’s also take a look at the goodbyes of ideas. There are a few differences, thought. First, the goodbyes between people are generally scheduled. You know when you are going to leave the country, whereas when it comes to ideas, they can get out of your mind at some point you never know, just the same way they entered. The challenging thing is when we have to say goodbye to them. When I am saying ideas in this context, I am not only referring to normal ideas. It could be a crush, an illusion, etc. When you want to get an idea or illusion out of your mind, you will rapidly notice that you won’t be able to say goodbye as you say to a person and leave. This kind of “ideas” have (and eventually will)  leave by themselves when the time is right, depending on the personality of the person owning them. For example, you wake up one morning and you think you have an idea on how to produce energy from nothing. No input, only output. It depends on how crazy you are until you will realize that is impossible and you will leave the idea away. Or, you have a crush on somebody…and you are totally blinded by this. It won’t matter that the other person tells you that is not possible. You will have to draw your own conclusions to get rid of it. After some time, somewhere in your inner subconscious some light will be turned on and you will realize what you should have realized a loong loong time ago (usually that’s how it happens in this case).

To end with, I will tell you that a few days ago I have heard a quote on the radio about this. “Say goodbye to whatever you don’t love, it doesn’t give you any pleasure or it isn’t useful in any way”. Probably this quote triggered me to write this post. Hope you enjoyed it. Oh, there is also a song that I have been addicted to the last few days . Enjoy !

Home .. a neverending story

I have not slept 2 nights. One because of a messy project I had to do and the other one because of the stopover in Vienna. I got home yesterday evening…and I didn’t have the time to sleep because I went to one of my best friend’s birthday. Awesome. I met most all my friends in the pub we used to go when we skipped school last few years. We started talking about the last period of time that have passed, with funny stories and of course lots of wine (and pizza) ) Everybody was so happy and enthusiastic to see others and to spend some time together. I was too tired to continue partying so I went hope at midnight. It felt so good to unlock my door and to see my parents sleeping. I might have been extremely tired, but I could not sleep so I decided to browse through my facebook messages. Message after message, until I started yawning and eventually fell asleep.

This morning, I actually felt alive when I woke up. My mother prepared me some breakfast and then I told her I want to go and drive to the city, just to remember the places. So I got in my car, with a little bit of fear of not knowing how to drive in the crazy crowded city.First, I got to a gas station, bought myself a bottle of water, and when I got out to leave, I realized my car is blocked by an idiot who parked his car right in the back of mine. I thought “Yes ! Yes ! I missed this ! Now it feels like home ) “.  Amazingly, I didn’t get angry because I had all the time in the world just to taste the old days. I got inside the gas station again and I have seen there was just another person inside. So I was sure that the car outside belongs to that person. I politely approached and told him to move his car because I want to get out. He started yelling at me, telling me that he is busy and in a hurry. That was epic. I finally convinced him that it’s my right to get my car out of there and it’s not my fault that he doesn’t see the parking markers on the pavement. He moved his car, I got out of the parking lot, and began my trip to the pub I love. Driving again felt so good with the sun blowing in my face. The CD I have burned in the train from Horsens to Copenhagen had such great music. I was singing, even dancing when I had to stop at a red light.

Eventually, I got to ‘The Stage’. When I entered, I suddenly remembered the smell. It was exactly the same. I continued my way to my favorite table. Even the waiters were the same, nothing but me changed. One thing that surprised me is that the people here really don’t remember me.  While I was waiting for my coffee to arrive, I remembered one of the messages I have read last night. Someone was told me some time ago, when I was here, on Christmas holiday. The message said “Your home is where your heart is”. I started thinking about this, realizing that I actually don’t know where my heart is, and as a consequence I don’t know where my home is. When I am in Denmark, I miss the comfort of my place here and my friends, but when I am here, I might be missing the people and the life there. So… what am I going to do ? How can I find a place where I will be completely happy, without missing anything or anyone ? Should I find a country between this 2 ? ) Of course not. Then I will mean missing both of these 2. One solution is to stay in one place for a long long time. You know there is a saying: “The eyes that don’t see each other, will be forgotten”. In this way, I will totally forget the people and the things in the other place. Of course this is not possible, because others miss me too and they want to see me (my parents, for example). I think that it will be impossible for me to completely lose contact with one place…so I think I will have to live with the missing feeling. It’s not that bad. Actually, I think it’s beneficial because when I see some persons after a long while, the emotion and the joy is even greater.And it’s nice…

While I was writing this, I was thinking…”Mh…what song should I relate to this post ?”. As you know, sometimes not trying to resolve one problem or answer one question is better, the answer coming by itself. At some point, the waitress came to ask me if I want anything else…and she looked kind of insistently at my display seeing the topic of this post. At first, I have found that somehow impolite, but then she asked me where I am settled. After I said that I live in Denmark, she told me that the next song is especially dedicated to me and she hopes that it will help me answer my questions. What the hell ? How did she know I have some questions about being home ? It’s just a fact. Anyway, the song was very nice. I really enjoyed it. It didn’t answer my questions, though. You can listen to it at the end of the post. While the song was playing, there were some teenagers at the table next to me. I was completely amazed that they knew all the lyrics of the song and they were actually singing it. I am starting to think: “Did the teenagers here changed their taste in music ? Did all the teenagers become normal people, or those at that table are just an exception ? “. I will find the answer shortly, when I will meet some friends who are still in highschool. I am heading to my old class when I leave from here. Oh, and then I have to see the little puppies my dog has “produced” ). I cannot wait. I missed all the people and the things sooo much.

Hope you enjoyed this post and the song. Have a nice day and enjoy every moment of life, no matter where you are because tomorrow everything can be over. Happy Easter or God Påske !

Acute vs. chronic

Now you might be wondering if this post is about medical terms. Well, the answer is: yes (and no) ! I was feeling kind of sick the last few days..and I started to think about this 2 terms. Of course the medical part rapidly turned into some feelings stuff in my mind.

At school, I tend to hear very often the word “sick” used to describe some stupid awkward, weird event (too bad the word “sick” is sometimes over-used in my environment). Anyway…I could say that now I am not only mentally sick(as most of you know ), but also physically. Don’t worry, it’s just a very bad cold that will pass sooner or later.

But, let’s return to our main points here: acute and chronic. You probably know what this means in medical terms. For those who don’t, I will explain it ! yey, I love explaining. Let’s take an example. You are going to ski and somehow you fall and severely hurt your knee. You can still walk, but it’s starting to turn blue and swell. I don’t mention the pain here, but I think you can only imagine that. This is called acute ! When a disease is acute, it means it’s in its peak and you yell like hell because of the pain and discomfort.  Then you have 2 options. First: go to the hospital, undergo a hurtful surgery (even greater pain than the initial one) and then spend 4(or more) weeks recovering. Pretty bad, isn’t it ? Wait for what’s to come. Second: you barely walk in your hotel room, start putting tons of ice, use different pain-killers and other related medicine hoping that it will be okay eventually. If you are really lucky, the swelling will pass, and you will think that everything is normal. Unfortunately, it won’t be. That knee will still be damaged and every time when you have to put some pressure on it or when the weather is rainy, etc it will hurt. The idea is that you will probably have problems your whole life from time to time. This is chronic disease. A person can live with a chronic disease the whole life, but he/she has to be careful about that area. If not careful, worse acute pain is always waiting around the corner.  The idea is that if you don’t treat a disease while it is acute, it is very probable it will get chronic.

While I was drinking my coffee this morning, I correlated this theory above with the part of feelings and I realized there are some kind of similarities. I don’t say it’s exactly the same thing and I don’t think that feelings are some kind of disease, but when it comes to hurting, it is almost the same.

So, imagine your soul is the knee I was talking about earlier. What’s next it’s just a scenario to express the concept. You might love a person because you are stupid or blind or whatever. Then, you get hurt because that person doesn’t love you or…you get hurt because you see that person walking on the street cross-handed with your best friend or..I cannot think of more cases, but I can assure you there are a lot of ways to get hurt because of having feelings. Well, don’t understand that you shouldn’t have feelings. I really advice you to have ! It’s awesome. Back to the topic, at those moments, you feel destroyed, the pain is unbearable, you think that your life is over, etc. As before, if you don’t do something to repair the situation at that moment, to clarify your feelings, to be sure what you feel and what you want to do next, your pain might get chronic.  When that hurting emotion gets chronic, it’s good and bad in the same time. You can say it’s beneficial because you will be happy that the pain is not there and you can continue your life without any major problems. But, what if ? If only a minor thing affects you on that part, all the stuff will be brought back to life. It can be good stuff, it can be bad stuff, because we are talking about feelings now, not diseases. I know it’s kind of weird because above I have said only about the pain (it is easier to explain in this way), but even good feelings can be revived. So, I think that when you get hurt, it might be better to “cut” your soul in half, put stitches on it no matter how hard it will hurt. It will save you from more headache later… Of course this theory doesn’t apply to every single case. Sometimes, you are hand-tied, you can do absolutely nothing about it. In that cases, just…live and hope for the best. There is nothing else you can do. Before going to sleep, you can just pray that the thing/person causing this “chronic” pain will do something to alleviate it. Kidding.

At the end, I don’t know…probably tomorrow I will contradict myself and I will delete this post. But you never know.

As I usually do, I will provide you a link of a song I like. It’s pretty old, but it brings memories from my childhood because I used to listen to it a lot. In a way, it is also connected with the topic of this post.

Ayo Technology

Okay…in this post I will start with a funny, kind of sad and frightening story, but then I will switch to something more general and serious.

Monday, it was a very weird day for me. I woke up ready for a “great” day of school. I started classes, trying to pay attention to what the teacher was explaining. Of course my classmate next to me (in the left side) was only thinking  about what joke to make about the dude in the right. Too bad I was stuck in the middle. For short, I will call the guy on the left side “L” and the  guy on the right side “R” (their names will not be revealed but when they are reading this, I am sure they recognize themselves). At some point I have seen that L has taken his pen and started drawing something on his milk bottle (wth?!). I thought: Okay, I will continue to follow the lesson because they are just crazy and sick. 2 seconds later, that bottle of milk was in front of my display.  L was trying to show R what he has written on the bottle. I don’t know how, but while trying to stretch his arm, L slipped and the milk inside the bottle ended up on my computer. It was in the middle of the class and for 2 seconds I stood perfectly still trying to understand what just happened. The milk was all over my screen and keyboard. I couldn’t believe it. Then, my stupid crazy mind kicked in and I was thinking “damn…it looks like an elephant just “jerked off” on my computer”. I don’t usually use this expression,  but the guys surrounding me use it more often than “thanks, hello, etc” so…i have to mentain the theme. For a second I was tempted to look up and to see if there is any elephant there. Of course it wasn’t! Then, R started laughing saying”man, this is just crazy”. The next thing that occurred my mind is to kill L, but..I realized that the life of my computer is more important at that moment (I could kill him later). Of course I am kidding, I wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Coming back to the life of my computer, I turned it off, disconnected the power source and the battery. There were already tissues on the way, so I was kind of happy that some of my classmates are willing to help me at least with that. Actually, they couldn’t help me in any way .  After 10 minutes and 2 packs of tissues, imagine me holding my computer in the air, waving it like a crazy guy. I was trying to get out all the milk out of it because it was actually flowing from one corner of the computer and my desk was extremely milky.I remember the teacher asking me at some point “Hey Stefan, what’s wrong with you ?” and me replying “Just…don’t ask. Something horrible just happened”. After I finished my cleaning session, I put the computer aside and tried to make some group exercise the teacher just revealed. Of course I could not think of anything but my computer “Will it work again ?”. I waited for the class to finish.. and the lunch break was next. I decided to go home and to dry the laptop with the hair-dryer.

I packet all the things that I had, put them in my bag and went home. When I unpacked the computer, I saw the screen was full of milk again. Hell knows where that was coming from. Well, I was pretty sure that the life of my pc has ended and I cannot do anything about it. I had a very strange feeling I will tell you about later. If I would have called my parents and told them the story, they would have asked me if I am okay, healthy and in one piece. They would have said that this is everything that matters and I should not be worried about other things. Well, it’s not just like that. What about my all my work I have done so far, assignments,  courses, facebook groups, friends, etc. How was I going to talk to my parents on Skype or write long-winded stupid mails to my friends ? What about this blog ? So… I wasn’t okay at all, because here it seems that I am dead without the computer.

I still had to classes to attend (after the lunch break), but I decided to leave my computer at home near the radiator. In this way, I hoped it will dry and it will be fine. I attended the rest of the classes, excusing myself to the teacher for not having a computer. I really smiled when at some point, the lecturer told us to close the lids because we have a video to watch and he wants us to pay maximum attention. I had nothing to close ! hehe.. Then, I started to mime that I have a computer, folding a A4 paper and trying to type on it.   I should have also drown drawn the keys on it, but I was too pissed of to start that.

Then, my schedule was finished at school. I had 2 hours until the Danish courses. Of course I got home and I started to get bored. Nothing to do, no music to listen to, nothing ! I decided that it could be a good idea to make my homework for the Danish course (probably the only thing I have to do on paper ). I was still afraid to try turning on the computer, because some of the milk might not be dried and it could burn my motherboard. Anyway, during the Danish courses I kind of forgot about my big problem, but then…i had to get home again ! On my way home, different scenarios were flooding my mind. Unfortunately, all of them were negative.

Finally, I got home. Put the computer on the desk and power it up ! It was working. Unbelievable. You know, hope dies the last. Well, even my hope was dead and in the grave already, I was extremely surprised. I suddenly felt relieved. Then, all my other usual problems reappeared  in my mind.

Well, I told you before that a weird feeling encountered while I was sure that my computer won’t work. A couple of weeks ago, a teacher was telling us that it is possible for computers to replace human beings. And our first questions were: how ? why ?. It has been proven that everything in our world, every molecule, every single part of body or object is described by a mathematical/chemical formula. The latest discoveries show that even the feeling of love is somehow triggered by a chemical substance produced by the brain. So, if the computers are the best at calculations, they could do everything a person can do/feel and it’s just about time we get to that point. I personally think that we will never get to that point, because the scientists didn’t consider emotions. I don’t think that one emotion can be expressed in any mathematical formula. So, love without emotions is… nothing and the computers will only be able to “simulate” but not really feel anything.

Technology, in general has opened a lot of new ways and opportunities for the human kind. I am tented to say that technology nowadays sustains life and even love. Think about how many cures are developed using technology, how many people have an electronic pace-maker, or how many people lives are hanging on some kind of electronic device. Because of your hectic life-styles and lack of time or enormous distance between people, using the latest software available, we even express feelings using the big net of interconnected devices. I am not trying to say that all of these are bad. No ! On the contrary…they help our lives, make everything easier (or harder, it depends on the angle you are seeing things).

Movies are made, tons of articles are written about the end of the world. Some theoreticians say that in 2012, the poles might switch. I don’t know a lot of physics and planetary theory, but… what if when the poles switch, a big EMP (electro-magnetic pulse) is generated? Imagine everything going dark. No electricity, no communication of any kind, millions of people would die or suffer sever injury instantly because they are in an operation theater or they have an electronic pace-maker. Nothing will work anymore. The world would practically stop. And then…the consequences begin. No more food (the supermarkets can’t work without electricity, bank connection), no more money (all the bank accounts data is gone) and much more. And the worst thing is…no one will help us. Because we will be alone, and all of us will have the same problem. It won’t be just an area that faces this situation. Within 1 month the majority of the people will probably die…and..there will be just a few that will survive. I am talking about the under-developed countries (at this time). They don’t rely so much on the technology and they still have old-school way of doing things. Actually, now, our lives is based on something that hangs on a thin thread. At any point, it may be gone due to some powers grater that ours.

Okay, so I developed this idea… going from particular to general. I admit it, I am addicted to all the gadgets around me, and I could not do my work or live properly without them. You shouldn’t be scared, maybe I am just talking non-sense and the scientists have thought of absolutely everything.

In relation with the post, there is a link to a chat with ALICE, a computer simulating artificial intelligence.  You could try to test “her” or..better “it” at this link : http://alice.pandorabots.com/

And to end the post in a funny and “clever” way, here is a link to a song from Flight of the conchords. It is ironic, but it could have a grain of truth in it.  Enjoy !

Love. Blessing or curse ?

Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to answer the question in the title because it’s a rhetorical one. Okey… I think there are 2 kinds of people in the world when it comes to that. First, let’s consider the kind of people who hardly fall in love, and find it even harder get to the point of loving someone.  Considering the little psychology I know (learned in high-school), I think that comes from an extreme fear of being hurt. This fear comes from past experiences and other several factors. As a consequence, a wall is established between them and other persons who would dare to try to enter their hearts. They can like someone, but nothing more, usually. Someone extremely special (for some, not to be found in this world) has to appear to break that wall. The reason of this is a big mistake most of the people often do. They generalize. If something bad happened in the past, it is not necessary to happen again. (“Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up your present and future.”). This “firewall” can be also a very good thing, because it protects them from unwanted stupid suffering and they can get over some things more easily than other people. The question is: Is that what people should be ? What would be life without tears, without suffering, without love ?

The other category of people is the one that fall in love easily. And don’t make the confusion between easily and reckless or often. I am not referring to that kind of people. They are part of another group, not covered in this post. I am talking about the kind of people that fall in love very easy when they meet a person that has something special, something worth trying to explore, different from others. Here, we could include the love at the first sight. The majority consider this kind of people “stupid” for short. But is it really like that ? Are the people like this really stupid ? Well, I don’t think so. They are the one who will get most of their lives. And even if they fail several times, there chance is well stacked in the big universe. When that chance arrives, they will be completely happy. That’s the curse, because having to be unhappy until that thing appears might sound discouraging.

And… what I think is that, people in the first category were at some point in this second category. But they set up the wall and gave up the chance waiting just around the corner. This is a testing experience. If you have seen the movie “the box”, you could see my point more clear. This concept has also something to do with innocence of soul. When the wall is installed, the innocence of soul is gone. What a shame. But..almost everything can be reversed. I want to think that even the persons with the wall in front of them can be open for hope, for love, for suffering, anything. I could call them opened for feelings. The only thing they have to do is to totally trust and believe.

I have gone a little bit far from the main topic of the post witch is: love. What is love ? Love can often be confused with passion. Actually, they can’t exist one without another. When I am talking about love alone (without passion), I am talking about love you have for your parents, for your grandparents, for your friends, etc. It means you care for them and you will be affected if something wrong happened to them. When passion also enters the game, you can call it anyway you want. It can be called “pear”, “apple”, “raspberry”, “connector” or any other word that comes into your mind. We all know what it refers to. The “butterflies” in the stomach, the feeling of the warm hand in yours, the cold freezing impulses you get on your spine when you receive a deep look, the voice of the other person. Actually anything about that person starts to have a “magic feeling” that cannot really be described in words.

After saying that about love, I will refer to the second category of people, those who easily fall in love and are extremely clingy. Most of these persons are aware of their extreme “clingyness” and develop some kind of complex about that. As a result, even they have deep feeling, they would have some problems expressing them. That is extremely painful because the other person might think the feelings are not genuine.

Anyway, there is a quote “Love is like a fire. You never know if it’s going to burn down your house or warm your heart”. The idea is, if you are a person ending up in the second category, you might find yourself trying too hard, having a lot of hopes that will not be fulfilled. If we take a look at the quote, imagine that you have your heart in hand and you are trying to warm it with a lighter. For some reason, it doesn’t feel good enough (usually when the other person belongs to the first category) and you decide to use a flamer instead. So, the risk of setting your house on fire is very high. And too bad you are not wearing a fire-proof costume. Not only you remain without a roof above your head, but some pretty bad scars are bound to appear. (I am being metaphoric, of course). So, people who think they are in the second category, hurry up to the store and find yourself a fireproof costume to fit you. ) Kiddin, of course.

I hope you enjoyed this theory of mine about such a “common” concept as love.

DISCLAIMER: The facts presented are fiction and should not be considered true. Any association with real persons is  a pure coincidence. Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes. I was disturbed several times, I have been writing this post for one hour. As long as you get the point, it’s all good .

Great day.

This is a funny sad story…about today. I woke up at 7 AM knowing that my classes start at 8:20 and I wanted to have some time to drink my coffee silently, without being in a hurry. Last night I went to sleep pretty late because I watched some kind of stupid movie. In the morning, the alarm clock blows my mind with this old song I set “When love takes over”. I actually became awake and conscious about the song when the lyrics “Head under water, now I can breathe” entered my  ears and my mind. For a second, I thought perfectly logic, being kind of annoyed: what the hell ? How can you breathe under water ? Then I hardly pressed the Snooze button. I had 9 more minutes of silence. It seemed that 30 seconds passed, and I hear again, the same lyric. I go crazy, pick up the phone, turn off the alarm and throw it against the wall. Poor phone. I feel sorry for it.

I hardly get out of bed, and of course I hit my head. That door was closed !! (of course I could not see it with my eyes half closed and no light in the room.) I was in the kitchen, in total darkness. In a way, I was glad I was able to get there in one piece, but then a new thought crossed my mind: What I am going to eat today ? I got rid of it immediately knowing I could thing about it while I am drinking my coffee.First, I turned on the light, and then, I opened my eyes with my hands, literally. Then, I opened the drawer with the coffee, and said: today I am going to make a strong coffee because it’s going to be a long and demanding day. Perfect. I wait for the coffee to be ready (it seemed an eternity). Then, I lay down on the sofa with the coffee. Put some music, drinking coffee. Everything was like a movie. I just didn’t want to go to school, but I had to. I looked at the time and realized it was kind of late, so while I was hurrying up the last 2 sips of coffee, I hear my phone announcing me that a new message was received. For a moment I was under the impression that it’s from my parents that want to make sure I will have a great day.

I was some kind of awake now, ready to start a new day full of new information and homework. Surprisingly, my phone was still working, even it was torn in 3 different pieces. I put it all together and I try to read the sms. It was from a colleague and friend of mine who said: “Dude, don’t come to school today. Go to sleep again.” No reason, nothing. I was wondering if it is kind of a joke, so I turned on my computer. I was watching the bar moving on my screen while Windows was staring up. It was fabulous. Usually I find it simple and without a special purpose, but this time I was fascinated by it. ) I have checked my student mail and it said that all the classes today are canceled due to the sickness of the teacher. “Oh great, I woke up at 7, drunk a super big strong coffee, and now I am supposed to go to sleep again”. It was about 8 AM and I said I could use a morning shower.

Even though I was under the impression I was fully awake, the next thing that happened proved me wrong. I entered the shower with my pajamas on. To make things worse, I started washing my hair with shampoo. Then, it all came down on me !! I was wearing pajamas in the shower, and they were full of bubbles. I was swearing and pushing anything around me for 2 minutes, then I decided to go and put the pajamas on the radiator. I entered the room naked with bubbles all around me, with the pajamas in my hand. On skype, someone was extremely insistent. I look and I see there were my groupmates (hwo didn’t know we don’t have classes today – that canceling mail was sent at 5 AM) calling me to come to school to work on a project. I only had time to get the bubbles off me and then head directly to school, without eating anything. Now (it 11 AM), I am back home reporting this dreadful morning.

After looking back on this morning, I am asking myself: Am I the only one who gets this kind of stuff ? Why do I always have to be in these weird annoying situations ?

Okey, and now ! What do you think ? Was this a good or a bad morning ?